Obviously, there are bio moms and stepmoms with great relationships. Many times, though, stepmoms have a hard time getting along with the bio mom. The short answer is pride. As humans, we all have it. Pride is something that causes feelings of entitlement and the need to be right. The problem comes when pride overshadows the child’s or children’s development or relationship with their other parent.
Bio Mom is right about one thing. She is their mother, and there’s a soul tie between mother and child. What pride is keeping her from realizing is that Stepmom isn’t trying to come between, invalidate or overshadow that. In fact, she couldn’t if she wanted to. She knows that.
Stepmom is also right about something. She’s important to the child(ren) as well. Like their father and mother she has a hand in raising and influencing them. Just like you want respect for your part in your children’s lives, Stepmom wants the same thing, and she’s just as entitled as the biological parents.
Where Bio Mom and Stepmom go wrong is invalidating one another. Neither role should be invalidated. It’s wrong and unfair. More importantly, the child(ren) will pick up on the conflict. It’s likely to cause them pain. If there’s one thing that Bio Mom and Stepmom need to remember it’s to not speak ill of one another and always pursue peace (psalm 34:13-14).