I have the sweetest, smartest, most handsome stepson in the world! You can’t argue with me because I’m 100% right. On a serious note, being a stepmom is a tough, tough role. It may be the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’m truly blessed to have the support system I have, but even so, being a stepmom can be mentally taxing.
From bio parents needing to remind you exactly what you’re not to your stepchild(ren) to other family members (immediate, in-laws or extended) not liking your situation, stepmoms deal with a lot of external factors. If you’re a stepmom, you know how this can weigh on your heart and mind until you think of giving up. Giving up is not an option. You can’t let your husband down. You can’t let your stepchildren down.
Their idea of “home” has already been shaken. I know it’s hard when parts of your village are fighting against you (legally or inter-personally). Bio moms, grandparents and other extended family members are all a part of the village shaping this child’s view of family and the world. Unfortunately, the village isn’t always united. As a stepmom, you often feel like an outsider with no voice. It hurts.
I’ve been there. It’s still part of my reality at times. There is one thing that keeps me from giving up. This truth keeps me in fervent prayer for my village.
Children know what love looks like.
There’s no doubt in my mind that my step-baby knows how much I love him. From his tiny bear hugs to nestling his face between my neck and shoulder to fall asleep, he knows there’s love and security with me. That’s something no court order and no amount of bitterness can take. My stepchild and your stepchild know what love looks like.
Let that truth keep you in prayer. Let love keep you going when times get hard.
I’d love to hear from other stepmoms. What keeps you going when you feel overwhelmed? Leave a comment or find me on Instagram.